Assertiveness →
Responsiveness →
Owl
Eagle
Dove
Peacock
Fast, high-energy, and productive right up until it is not.
Where friction shows up
You both want to be the one talking. They want the decision, you want the conversation, and they will cut you off to get there. When you push back with volume, you get the one dynamic that goes worst for you, because their instinct under pressure is to take control and yours is to make it personal.
What to do differently
- Get to the point in the first sentence. Set the context afterward if they want it.
- Bring the result, not the journey. They care about the outcome and will ask about the rest if it matters.
- Take the disagreement offline. In public it becomes a contest you will not win.
- Follow through visibly on something small and early. Their main private doubt about you is reliability, and that is the only thing that fixes it.
What not to do
Do not read their bluntness as personal. It very rarely is.
One line to remember
Point first, story later, and close the loop where they can see it.
Keep going
See your whole team on one map
Run the free assessment with your team and get a shared grid of who works how — then use guides like this for every pairing.
Start with your team — free