Assertiveness →
Responsiveness →
Owl
Eagle
Dove
Peacock
The easiest relationship you will have and the one where you are most likely to be quietly wrong about what the other person thinks.
Where friction shows up
You take up more room than you realize. They will not tell you. So you leave the conversation confident there is agreement when what actually happened is that you talked for eighty percent of it. Their reservations show up later as slow execution rather than as an objection.
What to do differently
- Ask, then stop. Give the silence longer than is comfortable.
- Ask about their concerns specifically. A general "any issues?" gets you a general no.
- Slow your pace to match theirs when it matters. They will not ask you to.
- Recognize their contribution in front of others. They will never claim it themselves.
What not to do
Do not fill every pause. Do not commit them to something in a meeting without checking first.
One line to remember
The quiet is not agreement, it is you still talking.
Keep going
See your whole team on one map
Run the free assessment with your team and get a shared grid of who works how — then use guides like this for every pairing.
Start with your team — free